When I was planning my trip to Ixtapa/Zihuatanejo I kept calling it an escape, but an escape from what? I’d told people I just didn’t want to be around my family for the holiday, I’d said I just needed to get away. I’d said that it was my last chance for a vacation this year. I’d said a lot of things, I booked the trip, and then decided that I’d do some things I’ve never done, Snorkeling, Diving tops amongst them. I’d made the decision that should I be presented the chance to eat some of the more bizarre (by American standards) Mexican delicacies that I would do so, ant larvae be damned, if the chance to eat a taco of Escamoles con Queso came up I would take it.
I’d also told people how much I missed the Pacific Ocean, and proper sunsets over said ocean. But what I didn’t tell them, and what I tried to hide from myself, is my deep spiritual connection to the Pacific. From the first time I saw it in person, I felt like I was looking at the closest thing to ‘god’ that I’ll ever see, when I look out over the Pacific whether from Santa Monica, Santa Barbara, Long Beach, San Diego, Hermosa beach, Manhattan beach, even in Oregon I feel instantly and deeply connected to the Universe, and to myself. So it really shouldn’t have come as a surprise to me that when I got here I’d feel something. It started even before I’d landed, on approach to ZIH the plane turned and I was looking west over the Pacific with the sun starting to set, and I smiled a smile I haven’t smiled in years.
As soon as I was checked in to my hotel and changed I was walking on the beach with the waves lapping at my ankles, and it was then that I felt it, the shift, the change, the awareness came to being…
After my walk I went to the hotel restaurant, a lanai overlooking the beach I took a table separate from all other people and faced the Pacific. And I began to let my mind release, and to look at the things that I was trying to escape from, I didn’t like anything that I saw.
Funny thing is about trying to escape, wherever you go, there you are. And now I’m faced with myself, 3 days alone in a foreign land, while I’ll continue with my plans, my free time will be spent looking at myself, because What I was doing with this trip wasn’t ‘escaping from life’ it was ‘escaping to myself’
Where I go from here, remains to be seen.