Playing With My Food ~
A journal about food, thought, travel, and life; by Chef & Raconteur Chaz French.



I should be dead by now
but I refuse.
In 1998
I became ~ other

I became ~ positive
Told that I had twenty
maybe twenty-five years
to live, most of them ill.

I stand, I live, I am healthy
and I remain defiant.
I will live.
I will outlive you all!

I simply refuse to accept
that I cannot live a life
fulfilled of all human desires
and accomplishments.

I should be dead by now
or at least
gravely ill.
Yet I am healthier than ever.

I exist, I live, I breathe,
fully, and without remorse
or regret
for what happened.

It’s just another human virus
and medical science has my back.
From eighteen pills a day to one.
From fear of sex to U = U.

I wish
my brothers and sisters
had made it to this day
but in their absence

I am here, I live, I prosper,
I celebrate
and hold them all.
Fuck HIV!

I just turned fifty-four
and I am here, now,
unrepentant and alive.
Nothing will stop me

I carry on and thrive
in tribute
to all those
who have died.

I am a long-term survivor
and not going anywhere,
because I am a survivor,
and I am fucking here to stay.